The Duggars: 20 and Counting / Do Hard Things

Getting back to my book reviews. I finished up two this week.

First, Crystal and I read The Duggars: 20 and Counting, authored by Jim-Bob & Michelle Duggar (whom you've probably seen on TV). Since they have 18 children we hoped to glean some tips and tricks for managing a large family. While the book contained plenty of this sort of advice in the end that wasn't what drew my attention. The underlying theme of the book (and the Duggar family) is trusting God to direct every decision you make. The Duggars go into detail about their past and the decisions which they made both with and apart from God's guidance - and the results that followed. It is evident that God has richly blessed their family both financially and fertily (is that a word?) for seeking his will. Even if you don't have a bunch of kids this book is well worth the read simply to see God at work in their lives.

Second, I read Do Hard Things by Alex & Brett Harris. This book is written by teenagers for teenagers, but it speaks a number of truths that I found quite relevant as an adult. The Harris twins challenge teens to step beyond the world's low expectations of them and truly do something extraordinary. Scattered thoughout the book are dozens of examples of teens who put down the game controller and TV remote and made something of their life - prior to turning 21. Even for me at age 28 this book served as a real challenge to move beyond what is expected and tackle what is truly challenging. Beyond the message of the book I appreciated that the authors included a chapter on practical steps of acting on what you learned (again with examples). So many books will try to sell an idea but in the end leave the reader with no direction for how to achieve that idea. I wish I would have read Do Hard Things as a teen - I'm suspect the challenge within may have motivated me to waste far less time during that period of my life. This is going to be mandatory reading for my kids once they're a bit older.

Faith Equals Fertility?

Faith Equals Fertility?

These are the Generations of...: Foundations to Build On: Dominion

Scott Head over at These are the Generations of... has wrote a good article on the Dominion Mandate: Foundations to Build On: Dominion. I'm linking this here as he makes several mentions of Christian Biblical Worldview as it relates to having children. Something to think about...

You believe what?!?

So, after reading the introductory post my friend John Chapman suggested that I might make a more convincing argument for our beliefs if I provided some scriptural support rather than simply telling readers to "go look it up for yourself!". While I think it is important to search the scriptures for the truth about a subject ("Test everything. Hold on to the good." - 1 Thessalonians 5:21 NIV) I'll happily provide a starting point for your search. I'll attempt to expand a little on the first of those "wisdom tidbits" in this post that I previously discussed: The blessing of children.

Let's start at the beginning shall we? In Genesis 1:28 God has just created man, and now He gives man the very first commandment:

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." - Genesis 1:28 (NIV)

After the flood, God repeats this commandment to Noah:

Then God blessed Noah and his sons, saying to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth." - Genesis 9:1 (NIV)

Later he tells Abraham:

"I will make you very fruitful; I will make nations of you, and kings will come from you." - Genesis 17:6

God gives similar blessings to Isaac, Ishmael, and Jacob, as well as many others. In almost every case where God bestows a blessing on someone in Genesis that blessing includes children.

Psalm 127:3-5 really captures the essence of God's view on children:

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. - Psalm 127:3-5 (NIV)

So, if children are God's reward or God's blessing, why do we as Christians think it is our job to decide how many children God can bless us with? Here's the arguments I often hear from other Christians in favor of family-planning:

It's not good stewardship!

"Sure, having large families made sense back in agricultural days when you needed helpers for the family farm, but in today's culture it just doesn't make sense. Children are expensive. Having more kids is not a wise use of our money."

It's true that children cost money. And if every child needs designer clothes, playstations, cars, boats, ATVs, and a four year Ivy League education the dollars add up quickly. The culture demands that we give our children "the best", but are these things really the best? Are we doing our children a disservice if we don't spoil them with every entertainment the world has to offer? Should our standard be based upon what the culture demands or upon what God's word asks of us?

If you cut out the unnecessary the cost per child really isn't that high (see a recent Generations with Vision podcast on large families), and decreases with each additional child you add to the mix. The real issue here is often not stewardship, but selfishness. If I have another child I might not be able to afford that new toy, we might have to eat ramen noodles instead of fillet mignon, we might not be able to keep up with the Joneses, we might have to give up our second jobs and/or free time to take care of the kids.

If your money and time belong to God, and if one of God's primary methods of blessing us is through children, then wouldn't our money and time be well spent taking care of the "blessings" God has given us?

I just can't handle another child!

If God provides your children as blessings to you, won't he give you the strength and patience you need to care for them?

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. - Phillipians 4:13 (NIV)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. - Hebrews 11:6 (NLT)

Being parents of multiple children (at least being good parents) will consume a large amount of your time and energy, there is no doubt about it. You will certainly have days when you want to pull your hair out, but God will sustain you and will not give you more than you can bear.

There are literally hundreds of verses that confirm God's authority over conception and his desire to bless us with many children....I have only mentioned a few of them above. Several books devoted to the subject cover these multitude of verses and dive deeper into the topic. I recommend:





In (the upcoming) part 2 of this "exposition" I will talk about the second "wisdom tidbit": Your authority and responsibility as parents to disciple your children.